(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).
Yesterday I was fucking knackered - perhaps predictably. But I did my Mindful Movement meditation and the Breath and Body meditation in the afternoon (tracks 3 & 4 in the link above).
Then later on I did the three minute Breathing Space meditation (track 8 in the link above).
My mind does wander and I'm quick to jump out of them when they're finished (things to do, things to think about, things to act on.. busy busy busy).
But I do think this repetitive listening to the always lovely Mark Williams is cementing in me what the concepts of mindfulness are. It's a funny combination of being aware of your thoughts (not quieting them, just becoming aware of them so that you can see them for what they are and not be mindlessly absorbed/persuaded/blinded by them).. and rooting yourself in your body.
I was talking to my dear friend Sue about this at lunch yesterday. About what spirituality is. And how this mindfulness stuff (if it is indeed spiritually) is surprisingly so much about the body. You think of spirituality being about the mind. It's written on the box! MINDfulness. Not BODYfulness. But it's hugely about cementing yourself in the body. That's the surprising thing.
So yes. I am 'going deeper' into myself. But in a way I'm doing the exact opposite of 'going deeper' into myself. I'm releasing much of myself, grounding myself in my body, and distancing myself from my thoughts (or at least seeing them for what they are).
So 'going deeper' isn't naval gazing, although it appears to be from the outside because you are spending so much time sitting with your eyes shut doing stuff which looks self-indulgent and naval-gazey (if there is such a word). Going deeper is about releasing much of the self-analysis and pondering/questioning/planning/doing.
Going deeper is about letting go.
Mark says towards the end of Track 4 Breath and Body; "The deep stillness we seek does not arise because the world is still or the mind is quiet. Stillness is nourished when we allow things to be just as they are for now. In this moment. Moment by moment and breath by breath."
Not sure if this makes sense but will keep going to see how this develops for me.
Love, Mrs D xxx