Sunday, March 22, 2015

Week Two Day 7

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Got up at the crack of dawn this morning to check in with some Living Sober buddies and do a group meditation thingy (not sure what to call it). We check in on the site just before 6am and then again 20 minutes later and in between we all do our own meditation thing. We're all doing different things it seems. 

One guy is doing it in silence. One woman did it while holding her sleeping grandson. Someone else listened to a mindfulness podcast. Me and a couple of others listened to a Tara Brach Guided Meditation.

I lie down on the study floor on a thick blanket with a pillow under my head and another blanket over me. I'm still sleepy but awake enough to concentrate. It's really nice 

I do love Tara and have been listening to her hour-long talks for a couple of years now. She absolutely helps me with life, no doubt about it. But I've always steered away from her Guided Meditations because - guess what - I never wanted to meditate! That was dumb and boring (I thought).

But for this 20-minute commitment I've made to my Living Sober buddies her Guided Meditations are perfect .. and I'm so pleased I have given them a go. The one I did today is on this link here, it's dated 12/17/2014 and is called "Light of Awareness".

She talks throughout, but there are long periods of silence. Lots of looooonnnggg periods of silence.

In the middle she says; "At some point you'll notice that the mind has done what it habitually does which is to contract into a thought idea..a voice in the mind..images. Not to judge, but rather just notice. Oh, ok, we're back in a virtual reality. And then pause, and relax back again."

I liked this. A virtual reality. Our thoughts, inner dialogue, thoughts, worries, plans, ponderings. They're all a virtual reality. Not actually of here. All we have is this moment. What's happening in this moment. The mind buggers off constantly... is that useful? What's happening in this moment?

Ironically I had kind of an angst-y afternoon, got a bit wound up and caught in a thinking loop about something which wasn't relaxing. I was very aware of this and kept telling myself - all I have here is this moment. What's happening in this moment right now? And in doing that a few times I was able to see that the present moment was actually quite lovely. It was my virtual (thinking) reality that wasn't. 

Soooo interesting. I managed to push those unhelpful thoughts away. Tomorrow I'm onto a new week of the mindfulness course from the book. Can't wait.

Love, Mrs D xxx

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