Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Myself the great experiment

I've been having some major diet issues which are totally related to my alcoholism but this is meant to be a blog about my inner work so maybe I shouldn't go on about that. Except that it's all related because it's all about ME and I am my own great experiment and I am working on myself hard so I can become the most perfectly perfect person I can be.

Ha ha.

No but seriously. I don't want to be perfectly perfect (good thing because I'm not) but I do want to be healthy in both body and mind and not be;

a) emotionally stunted - getting sober has fixed that or,

b) emotionally all over the bloody show - mindfulness work AND a healthy diet will help with that.

Because bad (sugary) foods mess with my mental health.

Let me say that again so that I get my own message. In caps no less. BAD SUGARY FOODS MESS WITH MY MENTAL HEALTH.

Of that I have no doubt. I've just conducted a 2-week experiment with myself by eating all manner of crap and yes I can conclude that the results of my testing clearly demonstrate that when I eat crap for long periods of time I slowly get more moody and glum.

So out goes the bad foods (which I have to stop seeing as 'treats' and start seeing as 'toxic') and in comes good healthy nourishing foods. And out go negative thought patterns and in comes inner calm.

Yeah, inner calm. That blissful state that I am striving for.

My car meditations are going well. I did one in the carpark outside the gym the other day! I also do them before school pick-up. Someone asked on my last post if I download the audios or stream. These ones that come from this book (which is utterly brilliant by the way and is changing my life) you have to download and can't stream. But I couldn't download them directly onto my iPhone or iPad - it just wouldn't work. I could however download them onto my iMac (yes I am an Apple girl through and through) which is fine for when I am at home in the study but not fine if I am out in my car or in the bedroom or wherever. I emailed them to myself so I had them on the phone/ipad but the emails kept disappearing over time. Finally I realised that I could use iTunes to transfer them from my Mac into the music library on my phone. So now I have them permanently saved as tracks on my music library on my phone and can listen wherever I like! This did actually create some joy for me! The Tara Brach ones I don't download because she is constantly adding new ones. I just go to her website on my phone and use mobile data to stream it .. but this takes quite a bit of time to get set up so it doesn't always work (and is frustrating) when I have literally just left myself 20 minutes before the school bell goes..! Actually now that I am typing this I will go to her website now while I'm at home and get it all ready for when I'm in the car at school. Sorry this paragraph is long and boring but this is the actual practical stuff that matters if we're going to lock these habits in daily. Goodbye for now.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Dear Mrs. D,
    I need to give up crackers and chips.
    I seem to need something to crunch, but I am eating a box of crackers a day.
    Nuts, apples, and carrots also crunch and I like them!

  2. Dear Mrs D,
    I just wanted to compliment you on your blog and on the huge changes you've made to your life in general. I'm sober for just over 2 weeks now. I was too scared to watch the Sunday episode about you awhile ago, because back then I was too deep in the drink myself (my 'drinking hour' was 8pm, and I looked forward to it just like you did) and I didn't want to confront 'home truths'. But I finally watched it last night, and I sincerely hope I can follow in your footsteps and embrace a sober life on a permanent basis. I especially related to your comment right at the end of the piece, about how being sober takes you back to the mindset you had in happier times. Even after 2 weeks I already feel that way! Sobriety really does feel a little like falling in love. Your mind starts to heal remarkably quickly.
    I wish you all the best, and thank you for sharing your experiences.