Wednesday, April 29, 2015

WHAAATTTTT???!!

There is no Week Eight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! I have been faithfully following along this EIGHT week programme in this book, and when I get to the Chapter on Week Eight it says ...

"Week Eight is the rest of your life".

Well blow me down with a feather. No longer do I have any set audios to listen to or habit releasers or anything. They just want me to "weave the practices into a routine that is sustainable in the long term".

So before I know it was coming I am now cut adrift in my life again (!) and need to put some mindfulness practices into my routine if I want to continue working my brain to cement this way of thinking (or not thinking as the case may be).

Incidentally there is a lot of brilliant stuff they write about in Chapter Eight but I won't regurgitate it all here. Suffice to say I recommend this book highly.

Righto. Here I go. I am going to aim to set my alarm every morning for 6am and get up to listen to guided audios. Either the ones that came with this book (here) or Tara Brach ones.

And during the day I am going to pause whenever I feel like it and do a Breathing Space meditation as taught by the authors of this book. I did one today and it was nice. Needed.

I will be posting less on this blog now (not sure if anyone cares) but will keep popping back in to update on how my mindfulness practice is going. I want to make this a part of my life.

It is a part of my life.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Monday, April 27, 2015

Week Seven Day 7



(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Woke up at the crack of dawn and jumped at the opportunity to do one of my meditations. #1 Mindfulness of Body and Breath. Hopefully that set me on a calm course for the rest of the day.

In one point in the middle of the day I did a Breathing Space. It was needed.

I also had a big talk with a girlfriend this afternoon about all this mindfulness stuff. She was into it. I'm sure it's growing.

Just now I did #2 Exploring Difficulty. It was needed and it was good.

I'm pretty convinced this stuff is starting to sink in quite deeply now.

It's pouring with rain outside.

Tomorrow I begin Week 8 - the final week.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Week Seven Day 6

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I am extremely grumpy and irritable tonight. I just grumped massively at the boys getting them to bed. 

Then I grumpily sat down to do my two stupid meditation audios.

I chose #1 Mindfulness of Body and Breath and #4 Breath and Body.

I wilfully gave myself permission to let my mind wander as much as it bloody wanted throughout and even slouched with a grumpy look on my face (albeit with my eyes closed).

Now I'm grumpily writing this post.

And soon I'll grumpily go to bed.

Goodnight.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Week Seven Day 5

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

It was a busy day today with the boys off school and lots of things on. So have just done my two audios now. #5 Sounds & Thoughts and #1 Mindfulness of Body & Breath.

Always lovely.

I'm finding I've got less push-back in my mind about having to do these meditations now. It's still kind of a 'hassle' sometimes to find the time.. but I'm not having that second-tier thought of annoyance.  So the thought is now 'oh gosh I have to find the time to do my meditations but I don't mind because they're actually quite nice'.

Progress, surely?

I do still think that first thing in the morning would absolutely be the best idea... great way to set up your intention for the day and remind yourself of being mindful. I'm going to aim for that being my norm and see how I get on. Lately I feel like I've still been catching up on sleep from trips away etc... so haven't wanted to get up extra early before the family does...but I suppose there will always be excuses.

Am going to bed now to re-read the Chapter on Week 7 so I can see if I've been missing anything from this week's course.

Almost at the last week!

Love, Mrs D xxx

Week Seven Day 4

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Well this is interesting. I did another Breathing Space on the run today. At 11am when I was rushing out of the house to go meet someone I realised I was feeling a little angsty in my chest (probably because of the two hours I'd just spent working at the computer had ended badly by me surfing online to somewhere that wasn't going to make me feel good).. so I literally paused in the doorway and shut my eyes to take stock of 1) how I was feeling in my thoughts 2) focus on my breath 3) focus on my body.

Think it might have helped somewhat.

Later in the day I did my two audios of choice. It's quite fun choosing whatever you want from the list above! Today I felt like doing #3 Mindful Movement and #4 Exploring Difficulty.

A friend asked me today "how is the meditation going" to which I instantly replied "good!" without a hint of embarrassment or awkwardness which I've had up until now (fearing I'll be seen as some weirdo hippy).

I don't care what people think. This shit works.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Week Seven Day 3

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Today was a monumental day in the world of Mindful Mrs D. I paused IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT WITH MY EIGHT YEAR OLD (!!) to do a Breathing Space.

Sorry for the use of caps there but I am quite proud of myself.

I literally stopped at the kitchen bench and shut my eyes and went 1) what's happening right now in my mind. What's the weather like in there? 2) focus on the breath. Concentrate on the sensations of each breath as it moves in and out of my body and 3) widen my attention to take in my whole body.

This process probably honestly only took about 40 seconds in total. Then I thought to myself 'how do I want to proceed from here' and I'm not sure if I made any firm decisions but the fight didn't escalate and pretty soon (10 mins later) we were having a hug.

I feel pretty confident in saying that mindfulness was the winner on the day and good. on. me.

That was at about 8am.

Fast forward to midday and the house is quiet and I sit down to do the pick of my two audios from the link above. I chose #7 Befriending (because it's just so lovely) and #4 Breath and Body.

Then I went to a meeting, went to the supermarket, went to school, went to the swimming pool, went home, went to scouts, went home again. And the whole time I felt good.

I really like this stuff.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Week Seven Day 2

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning to try and do my audio meditations before the kids got up and had only just sat down in my meditation spot (computer chair lowered so that my feet can rest flat on the floor) when I heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Bugger. 

Mr D is away for work so of course that meant my early morning contemplations wouldn't be able to go ahead. I duly got up and attended to the younglings needs.

Fast forward to midday and I am feeling a bit angsty about a couple of work things.. and I have to be at a meeting at 1pm, so I decide to settle myself down and do my audios.

Sounds and Thoughts followed by Body & Breath. They were nice. It was good. It always sort-of feels like a pain to have to do it but then when I do it it's lovely.

Must remember that.

Then I did a Breathing Space.

It helps, there's no doubt about it. Worries and concerns always feel vitally important and impossible to minimise but then when you sit down and do this sort of fun, subversive tuning-out of your thoughts and tuning-in to the simplicity of the moment.. well, things do fade away somewhat.

I'm telling you. It works.

I think it has to be repetitive however and it has to be a mostly daily habit. I really hope I can achieve that after this course is finished.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Week Seven Day 1

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I gave myself a break yesterday so today is my Week Seven Day 1. This week they are being less prescriptive about what audios I listen to - I just have to choose two from the list above to do daily.. plus two Breathing Space's a day as well.

I've been a bit slack on the Breathing Spaces I have to be honest. I think of doing them, and I start, but quickly my mind wanders and I don't finish properly I don't think. 

But hey! I'm a mindful work in progress and at least I am thinking of doing them and starting on them even if they're not perfect. They're supposed to last 3 minutes and go through 3 distinct phases and then a point at the end when you decide how to proceed with your day (in the same way, or to take a skillful action). There's a lot of writing about what that skillful action could be! But basically it's about waking up to your stress or mood, taking a moment to ground yourself and register what's going on internally and then shifting your behaviour so that you feel better. 

This week there are many black lines in the book where I am supposed to fill in my personal details. Lists of activities I do in a typical day and whether they are nourishing or depleting. A list of how I can alter my activities so more are nourishing and less are depleting.  A list of things I can do to be kind to my body, a list of enjoyable activities, and a list of things that give me a sense of mastery, satisfaction, achievement or control.

They say the core message of Week Seven is 'Tiny actions can fundamentally alter your relationship to the world for the better."

Well ok then!

I just did the Mindful Movement audio from the list above because I liked it when I did it earlier. And the Exploring Difficulties one because it really forces me to pay attention to how my body reacts to emotions - something I'm not very good at.

They were nice, they always are. 

Will resolve to do more Breathing Spaces as instructed this week and will flesh out more about what I can do differently after each.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Week Six Day 7

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Woke up this morning in another town in another person's house and did the Sounds & Thoughts meditation followed by the Befriending meditation. Early morning is DEFINITELY better.

It was a Sunday so I had checked into the site (Living Sober) beforehand and some other community members were doing their own form of mediation or whatever .. it's our weekly Group Meditation Thingy and it was nice.

Always nice.

Travelled away for 36 hours for my Dad's 70th birthday which is why I was in a different bed this morning and why I am knackered now after lots of socialising and travel.

To bed. Look forward to moving to Week 7 tomorrow. Almost at the end! Have loved this book, it's been such a great course.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Week Six Day 6

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I'm afraid I didn't get to this yesterday. When I finally got a moment it was 9.36pm and I was waaaaayyyy too tired. So instead I got up at 6.15am this morning and just did Sounds & Thoughts followed by Befriending.

Definitely more lovely and easier (if that's the right word) first thing in the morning.

I notice that there's always a point in the meditating when my shoulders drop. It's a teeny tiny drop - barely perceptible except to me. But without knowing it my shoulders have been raised just a little bit and I get to a point in the audio and with my thinking where they drop. Maybe 1cm... but they drop.

It's very nice.

Always nice. Always lovely. Really do think this would be a magnificent thing for me to have in my life permanently and I hope like hell that I can manage to do this. Note to self: Keep it Up!

(bet it's going to be hard but I will try. hopefully this blog will spur me on, which lets face it is the only reason I am blogging about this - I realise it's quite boring to read - but it's keeping me going. There have been times in the past 6 weeks where I probably wouldn't have done the daily audios if I hadn't made a commitment to blog about it daily. so it's been a case of 'better bloody listen so I can write the bloody daily blog about it'....! just being honest here. but blogging works for me in this way. it did when i was trying to get sober, and it is now while i am trying to become a meditator.)

Tomorrow morning I will be out of town not in my own bed and tired after attending my Dad's 70th birthday party the night before. But I am committing to setting my alarm and getting up at 6am to do the Group Meditation Thingy with the Living Sober gang. Good on me.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Week Six Day 4

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I don't want to jinx myself by saying this but what the hell, I'm going to anyway. I'm pretty damn certain that my parenting has been a lot calmer lately. I am tired and it's school holidays and they are being their usual boisterous and argumentative selves but I just haven't been rising to the occasion (so to speak). I've been staying unusually calm in times of their high emotion and everything has been defusing a lot quicker than it used to.

Is this because of my mindfulness training? Maybe! I suppose we'll never know.

I am pretty close to going back to setting my alarm again and getting up in the morning to sit and listen to the audios .. because it's not the same at the end of the day. My mind is much more busy. Maybe when the boys are back at school I can find the time in the afternoon before I have to pick them up, but this week with it being school holidays there is no time but for now at 8.30 at night when they are heading for bed.

Anyway I just did the Befriending meditation (track 7 in the link above) and it is very lovely. The kind words that you are supposed to think for yourself and then others are....

May I be free from suffering.

May I be as happy and healthy as it is possible for me to be.

May I have ease of being.

What could possibly be wrong with that. I am going to miss my Mark Williams guided meditations! Think I might keep using them when I am cut adrift from this 8-week course and left to fend for myself. It will be interesting to see what they have in store for the last few weeks and what they advise in terms of the long life I have ahead of me.

I won't read ahead though.. I'll keep going day by day and just discover what they have in store when it arrives. It's all good.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Week Six Day 3

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

For the first time tonight I was very up front and said to Mr D I was going down to the bedroom for 10 minutes or so "to listen to my audios" (notice I didn't say "meditations"! That would be a step too far!).

There is something really very nice about consciously taking a teeny weeny bit of time out to sit and meditate. And when I say 'meditate' that could cover any number of things. You could listen to an audio like these ones I've been following in the book - links online as above. You could listen to another guided audio there are millions available online. You could just try to focus on the sounds you can hear or focus on thinking about your breath or body. Or you could just observe your thoughts and picture them as clouds floating across the sky. Whatever you do with your back straight and your eyes shut or lowered, you are doing something which is consciously not just busy-ness or mindless thinking or talking or whatever.

It's time out and it's lovely.

Tonight after I announced to Mr D that I was shutting myself in the room I did the Breath & Body meditation and then the Befriending one as per the instructions for this week. They were both nice. My mind was in a busy wandering-around phase but I'm not concerned about that.

Now. The Breathing Space meditation. This is audio 8 in the list above and they introduced it some weeks ago. I am supposed to be doing it twice a day or more depending on how I am feeling. And the past few weeks I am supposed to be changing how I end the meditation - either drop into my body to feel what sensations are there that relate to my current feelings, or seeing if I can relate differently to my thoughts. So you take stock, you focus, your explore, and then you see if you can shift anything.

I have been remiss in this practice but will try and step it up. It's not something you have to do listening to the audio. You can just take a minute or 3 and do it quietly inside your head. Which is how I'll probably need to do it this week as it's school hols and I have very little quiet time in the house alone except for very early in the morning (and I've not been wanting to get out of bed early because I'm still catching up on sleep and relishing any bed time immensely!) or late at night (which is why I'm here writing this post at 8.46pm and really want to be lying on the sofa watching tele). So I'm going to try and practice these Breathing Spaces at odd moments standing at the kitchen bench or sitting in my car.

Secret mini meditations on the go. I like it.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Week Six Day 2

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I am now the very proud owner of my very own copy of 'Mindfulness. An eight-week plan for finding peace in a frantic world.' Yes! It took a mere 4 minutes and $33 for me to get my own copy of this wonderful book which I am finding so fascinating and helpful.

Someone on Living Sober told me they had emailed Mark Williams after they followed this book's course and he emailed back! I'm going to do that soon.. (hopefully they don't mind that I've been blogging daily about what they advise but I've been careful to attribute constantly and also rave about how much more there is in the book to what I am writing about in this blog).

Anyhoo today I did the Befriending meditation. It was in the afternoon, my boys were downstairs making lots of noise on the X-Box (school holidays) and I was nearly at the end when one of them came upstairs and said 'can we get takeaways for dinner mum?' so I had to cut it a little short but still, I got the gist.

I'm going to have to step up my game on the Breathing Space meditations which I am still supposed to be doing 2 times a day... will try and write tomorrow about how that meditation is supposed to be being used and expanded on at this stage of the course. Have been a little remiss on that score.

But I'm absolutely 100% positive that this work is making a real difference to how I am feeling and behaving. No doubt about it. And I intend to keep up a daily practice when this course finishes.

Yes I do!! Mark my words!! 

Time for cake.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Monday, April 13, 2015

Week Six Day 1

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Well boy-oh-boy, this week is all about turning to yourself with genuine loving-kindness and friendship. There is a new meditation to listen to which is 10 minutes long called The Befriending Meditation. It's all about anchoring yourself in the present moment (of course) and then sending out all sorts of kind and lovely thoughts.. to yourself and others...

Once again it's hard to summarise what they are attempting to do with this week's practice... there is a whole chapter describing what the thinking is behind this Befriending Meditation. Might be best just to directly quote a passage...

"If we are to find true peace, we have to listen to the quiet voice of compassion and ignore the bellowing ones of fear and guilt and shame. Meditation can help us to do this, but we have to imbue it with kindness, otherwise we run the risk of finding temporary respite, but not the true peace that lies beyond the ups and downs of daily life. We end up dampening down the noise, but remain deaf to a better, more wholesome way of living."

Well by crikey. I just did it. It is LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY. So very lovely. Kind phrases to think towards myself, the same kind phrases to think towards a loved one, the same kind phrases to think towards a neutral person (I chose the man that runs the store down the road), the same kind phrases to think toward a tricky person, and finally the same kind phrases to think toward all of mankind which includes yourself.

Lovely.

I had to return this book to the library today - panic! Had ignored enough overdue notices and couldn't renew it because I had already... so back through the returns slot it went this morning. But imagine my delight when I phoned a good bookstore in town and they had one in store! So it's been put aside for me and I will collect it in the morning.

I love this stuff. A lot.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Week Five Day 7

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Had a few hours all to myself today - what a treat! Mr D took the boys out and I was finally able to get some space around myself. Caught up on some writing, did some housework (of course), watched some TV, and did my 3 daily meditations as per the instructions for this week (Breath & Body followed by Sounds & Thoughts followed by Exploring Difficulty).

The last one of these is really making me focus hard-out on how my body responds to unpleasant or uncomfortable thoughts. This is good for me because I have spent most of my life not paying any attention to my body and how it reacts to emotions. Probably no surprise that often when I'm doing this meditation I don't notice my body feeling anything.. but then other times (depending on what I'm thinking about) I can feel quite clear sensations.

I felt an ache in my heart one day. Literally an ache on the left side of my chest where my heart is. And I was thinking about something that is really sad and difficult. Amazing. Other times I notice a tightening in my chest or throat. Sometimes butterflies in my tummy. This is something I'm going to try and pay much more attention to from now on. When I'm stressed or whatever I'll try to remember to notice what my body is feeling.

Forcing my mind-body connection to grow stronger.

After I listened to the audios I sat and read through some of the book again, and I found this brilliant line: "The experienced meditator is not someone whose mind does not wander, but one who gets very used to beginning again."

So it's not about clearing the mind. It's about noticing your thoughts and breaking out of them to try to focus on the breath again momentarily. Not getting lost in the thinking, believing the thoughts like facts and not a crazy stream of unwanted thoughts and associations.

It's the 'noticing your thoughts' step which is the mindfulness. Or 'waking up' as Mark Williams sometimes calls it.

My copy of this book is from the library and I've ignored enough overdue emails so have to return it tomorrow - NO! Must find a copy fast. Tonight I'll have a read of what's ahead for Week 6 so I can keep going. It's really very good.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Week Five Day 6

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I did nothing today. Up early to pack then travel. Home to unpack then clean and cook. About to go to bed. Will do everything as instructed tomorrow and get my blogging mojo back on. It's been a tiring holiday.

I do think my daily attitude is more mindful than when I started this course. I think the teachings that I have been listening to are starting to have an impact on my brainwaves.

I also think I want to try and make this an every morning habit..a quite meditative reflection.. as a reminder of what it is I want to strive for for the rest of my life. How it is I want to manage myself as the years go by.

* To not get lost in my thoughts.

* To observe my thoughts as mental events and not get swept away by them.

* To use my breath to ground me in the moment whenever I am feeling stressed or wound up.

* To remember to observe the present moment as it is most often calm and lovely (as opposed to my thoughts/mental events which are often away with the fairies wasting time planning or worrying or analysing or whatever).

* To pay close attention to what my body is telling me when I am feeling a strong emotion.

And that's just the start...

Love, Mrs D xxx

Friday, April 10, 2015

Week Five Day 5

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Home tomorrow morning thank goodness. It's been a great holiday but boy-oh-boy am I tired. 

Up early with the puppy here waking me up.. and daylight saving has also been playing havoc with my sleep.. and the days are very full... but I have been dedicated and doing my three guided meditations back-to-back as instructed every single morning!!

Mind was wandering a bit this morning but I didn't beat myself up about that. Really enjoying the teaching. 

Sorry that's all I can manage tonight my eyelids are falling...

Love, Mrs D xxx




Thursday, April 9, 2015

Week Five Day 4

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I'm starting to think that this practice is half about what you manage to achieve in the daily sittings... and half reminding yourself daily of these mindful techniques so you can apply them throughout the day.

Every day you sit and do a dedicated practice (meditation) and it sets the tone for the day.

If you get out of the daily practice (a dedicated meditation sitting) you lose touch with living mindfully.

Got up this morning and did my 3 audios as per the instructions for week five.

Still away from home. Still crazy busy and very little (no) downtime to myself.

But reaping the benefits of the instructions Mark Williams is giving me.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Week Five Day 3

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I'm still away from home and it's hard to get much time to write these posts. The days are full and busy and quite stressful as well as fun. Lots of friends and family and interactions.... none of my usual routine.

But I got up early this morning and did my 3 meditations back to back. Mind was wandering a bit (there is a LOT going on, did I mention that already?!).. but it was very nice to be reminded of the techniques and ways to think and focus and breath and all the stuff these meditations are teaching me.

I am applying some of the techniques throughout the day.

It's good. It's all good this course.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Week Five Day 2

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD BOOK! IT IS BLOODY BRILLIANT AND I AM SO PLEASED THAT I HAVE STUCK WITH IT AND AM DOING IT METHODICALLY DAY BY DAY.

Sorry for yelling.

Soooooo fascinating how they have been building things up for me. Sooooooo good.

Starting to really kick in now. Woke this morning and did the 3 meditations in the row. First the Body & Breath to help ground me. Then the Sounds & Thoughts to help focus me. Then the Exploring Difficulty to really get into the nitty gritty.

Let me say this very clearly. This is bloody good. I highly recommend anyone reading this blog goes and gets this book and follows their programme. Not sure how easy it is to follow along with me blogging about it. Probably easier to do and follow yourselves.

There is so much in the book that I'm not writing about too.

This week is a full on week for me in my life, I'm away from home still and there is a lot of gritty stuff going on around me. It's coincided brilliantly with this Week Five focus on leaning into difficulty. It's so helpful. It's so fascinating. It's so calming and it's so brilliant.

That is all for tonight. Off to bed to listen to the Breathing Space meditation while lying down (naughty) but am very very tired but want to do as instructed.

Am good pupil.

(Grammar has flown out the window - did I mention tired?).

Love, Mrs D xxx

Monday, April 6, 2015

Week Five Day 1

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Yesterday was a write off and I couldn't blog. Did manage the Group Meditation thingy with Living Sober members at 6am and that was nice.

Now I'm back on a normal computer and it's Week Five!  This week is called 'Turning Toward Difficulties' and it's all about acceptance. Not detachment, but embracing the "true, deep understanding of how things really are."

The authors warn; "Some people who have embarked on mindfulness courses stumble at this point. Many people who read this book may stumble too.. and may abandon mindfulness altogether. We hope that you will continue with Week Five because it's no exaggeration to say that all of the previous chapters have been leading up to this point."

Righto then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If I'm really honest I don't know how 'successful' I am being so far at this mindfulness stuff and I do feel rather a 'failure' at it most of the time because I can't stop my mind wandering but I'm not going to let those feelings stop me (and I'm putting them in inverted commas because I know the authors of this book would tell me it's not about succeeding or failing or otherwise but being open, trying and practicing).

And practice, practice, practice is what I'm going to keep doing.

Every day this week I have to do one big sequence of meditation audios. First the Breath & Body one (track 4 in the link above), then the Sounds & Thoughts meditation (track 5) and then the Exploring Difficulty meditation (track 6). 

And I have to do the Breathing Space meditation as from previous weeks (the little emergency 3-minute one that is track 8 in the link above) but with a slight change at the end which involves reading the body for any sense of discomfort, tension or resistance.

From what I can gather in reading the instructions this week is all about really tuning in to the body and reading what sensations arise when you bring to mind a difficulty.

Sounds intriguing.

Got up this morning and did the audios in the tree house at our holiday location. Excuse my language but it was fucking awesome. Wish I had a tree house to go to every day.

Think it will take a bit of listening to the instructions in the new audio to get the gist of what they're suggesting. Good thing I've got 7 days of listening to do then isn't it!

Love, Mrs D xxx





Saturday, April 4, 2015

Week Four Day 6

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Got up this morning and did my meditations in a tree house! Tried to do the again this afternoon but kept getting interrupted. It's hard in this holiday destination to get time out. 

Up early again tomorrow morning. 

Love, Mrs D xxx

Friday, April 3, 2015

Week Four Day 5

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

Blogging from the road! We are on our big family Easter holiday now. Up at the crack of dawn to get everyone out the door by 6.40am. I actually woke before the alarm and got up to do the morning meditations this morning (Breath and Body followed by Sounds and Thoughts) but got interrupted halfway through. That was ok I had a decent go at it.

Then after a big day of travel and then lots of catching up with my family I attempted to squirrel away in our bedroom to do them again this afternoon (as instructed). It was hilarious I kept getting interrupted by people playing hide and seek!! But I managed to get through-albeit with a bit of stop and start- and it's always nice.

It is always nice, even when it feels like a bit of a failure with my mind racing a lot.

I wonder whether slowly very slowly my brain might be developing techniques to really properly focus on the moment (breaths or sounds or whatever). I have tiny glimmers of it. But then again yesterday I was posting about a full scale internal rebellion.... So basically I'm all over the show.

Will just keep going keep going.

My plan is to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow and find a quiet spot on the property to listed to the meditations. I actually love that I'm intending to do this... It feels so fun.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Week Four Day 4

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I have experienced a major push-back in my mind over the past two-three days when doing these meditations. Not only is my mind wandering like buggery but I've had this deeper thought of annoyance that I'm being made to stop thinking. I'm subconsciously telling myself that I enjoy the thinking thank you very much and don't want to be forced into stopping it.

I don't want to stop it. I enjoy being free to think when I want about what I want. I keep tuning out Mark Williams voice and sort of being like a naughty school child who doesn't want to be told what to do.

I'm just being honest here.

I'm keeping on going though and hope that this won't be my continued experience of these meditations. I can only hope that my mind will go back into being open to being re-trained. Because it was at the start. But now it's rebelling and I really do feel like I'm kind of just paying lip service (for want of a better phrase) to the course.

This morning I set my alarm and got up at 6am to have my mindful cup of tea and do my morning meditations. It was nice as per usual.

Managed one Breathing Space today, self-directed. Nice again. Always nice.

Tonight I made myself work my grey matter to really put myself in the moment and it worked. I was doing the Breath & Body meditation and although there was a lot of noise around (dryer going, kids TV on, hose outside) I managed to really put myself in the moment. Unfortunately half way through the Sounds & Thoughts mediation just now I got interrupted twice and so have abandoned it for today.

We are going away very early tomorrow morning, bags are packed and in the kitchen ready to go, everyone is hyped up and I still have 5 things to do on my list.  I have put these meditation audios on my iPad and I have a plan of when to do it while I am away.

I'm not going to let my stupid dumb brain stop working on this.

Love, Mrs D xxx

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Week Four Day 3

(I am doing the 8-week course in this book which includes these free meditation audio files).

I woke up two minutes before my alarm went off this morning! How's that for a supersonic body clock?! Padded down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea then do my two meditations - the Breath & Body one and the Sounds & Thoughts one. 

Mind was very busy throughout. 

Then I jumped straight on the computer and sent a tricky email.... after saying yesterday that I'd try to just sit there in silence and drink my tea until the kids woke up. Whoops.

I've been extremely super-busy this week. 

Managed to do two Breathing Space meditations today, self directed at different points in the day. Those ones are really helpful. Quick but powerful. Audio 8 in the link above.

Have to be honest I haven't done my second round of Breath & Body + Sounds & Thoughts. Today was jam-packed and I was out for dinner tonight with some girlfriends. 

We did however have a big conversation about meditation and mindfulness and one of the woman showed me an App she has on her phone called 'Buddhify' . It looked interesting and she said it's really working for her.

It's like when you want to get pregnant and you see pregnant people everywhere. Seems like everywhere I look there are people talking about mindfulness, reading books on mindfulness, writing articles on mindfulness, listening to apps on mindfulness... etc etc....

Me I'm just happy right now with my book and the course I'm doing. Although today I haven't quite managed to do all that I am supposed to do.

Ah well... there's always tomorrow.......

Love, Mrs D xxx